Happiness

In what seemed like an impossible attempt to define happiness, I set forward a simple question amongst friends and family.

"What does happiness mean to you?"

Their answers were quite exceptional, as each individual’s response was distinctive and personal. I was, however, in disbelief when I then asked, "Are you happy?"

"Happiness is when I have nothing to worry about, even if it is just for two minutes. No, I am not happy, but I try to be. I think I am only happy when I want to be, and sometimes, it's done for comfort."

"Feeling good enough about one thing to make you ignore the rest. No, I'm never happy because I think happiness has been categorized as an overall feeling and I'm never, overall, satisfied."

"When the people I love are happy, when love strikes you when you least expect it and you receive the same kind of love in return, when the simplest thing like hearing his name makes you smile. Yes, I am happy, because although there may be the day-to-day problems and obstacles I am faced with throughout my life, I know that with hope and faith those obstacles will be overcome with the happiness I am yet to see."

"One will never be happy if they continue to search what happiness consists of. Happiness to me is when you love someone and you are loved back. That is true happiness. Although I find happiness in a lot of things; a simple smile, waking up knowing I have the health to go on another day. Life consists of many moments of happiness, but you should never look for it - it will find you and consider yourself blessed to have happiness in your pure heart, with a loved one, with family or a sibling. Currently, I am happy. Reason to why is because all that I listed that are considered the happiness I have, therefore I consider myself happy."

"Happiness is a concept that is defined by a given individual. To define happiness properly, I would say that you would need to break it down into several subcategories: Work, Life, Romance, etc. To me, happiness is composed of having a good family - parents, brothers/sisters, and wife/husband. Happiness is realized when one realizes and appreciates the things that they have in their lives and not concentrate on the things that they do not have. This is a great mental shift which I don't think many people are prepared for. To realize that you do not need to have a luxury car to make you happy, that you do not have to make millions of dollars to make you happy. Happiness comes from the smaller things in life which are not seen and appreciated by most. For instance, human nature is such that we set goals for ourselves, but sometimes the goals we set forward are not realistic, or are too much to handle. When we fail to meet these goals, we get frustrated and it affects our happiness. We should learn from our mistakes, adjust our goals, and maybe be a little more realistic, so that next time, we have a better chance at succeeding and getting closer to our happiness. So to be truly happy, you need to be realistic in your life."

Others mentioned happiness to them is unexplainable; however, it is what makes them feel secure. Happiness provokes your outer being, but revokes your inner self. Another individual suggested happiness is peace of mind; yet they could not find themselves to be happy because happiness to them felt temporary. Good events in their life have seemed to come and go quickly, leaving them feeling the emotion for a short while.

Happiness is an emotional state that is characterized by feelings of enjoyment and satisfaction. It has been pursued by us all, yet we place an importance on the emotion, and allow ourselves to lose focus of its true meaning. To understand what true happiness is, we must realize happiness is a matter of experience. You should not search for happiness, and look for it in materialistic objects. We must realize happiness lies within our heart and soul. The definition of happiness varies amongst the individual, as we all have our own standards and understandings. One man's trash is another man's treasure. One man's pain is another man's pleasure. Regardless of what happiness means to you, we should remember to always be grateful for what we have. Happiness is not to be possessed, it is to be enjoyed and experienced.

In a series by Phillip Jose Farmer, titled "Riverworld", we learn about a man who has obtained the homes of resurectors. In that homestead, he lives alongside mosquitoes, heat and humidity. However, at the end of the day, he is able to retreat to his air-conditioned house. When asked why he would have such pests and uncomfortable conditions around him, in a world he is able to control, his answer was profound. He explains if we do not know what misery is, how can we tell what Eden is? To be surrounded by the things we hate, and then resorting to a house you can call your own, makes you truly realize happiness. According to the man, happiness is escaping misery. It is not a person, place or thing. We cannot appreciate it, or understand it, until we know what the exact opposite is.

I never thought I would understand what true happiness meant. For some reason, I was never completely happy with my life. I let certain things in my life hold me down and keep me away from being positive. Growing older, I have realized how fortunate I really am. I have started appreciating life and looking at it in a different perspective. What once used to keep me from being happy is now looked at as the opposite. I let the happiness in my life empower the negative. So, what does happiness mean to me? I have already made it clear happiness is an experience we cannot describe, as it has a different meaning to us all. However, to me, it is the thought of no worries. Happiness is what helps you get through your day and motivates you to keep smiling, even though not everything in life is perfect. Happiness means being around my loved ones, and seeing them experience the same indescribable emotion. Happiness lets you not care about the minor setbacks in your life, and helps you appreciate everything that is pure. It helps you open your eyes to what is good in your life, instead of focusing on what's bad.

The question still stands, "Am I happy?"

Saying I am happy with my life would be an understatement. I could not ask for more, as I have the perfect family and a wonderful girlfriend. I always keep my head up high and hope for a bright future, because I believe in myself and know I can achieve what I put my mind to. If I was to think negative and be unappreciative of the things in my life, I would never experience the joys of happiness. For those who wish to finally smile, they need to realize they must set realistic goals for themselves, as one of our answers above read. We must always smile and keep hope alive, for anything in life is possible, even reaching true happiness.

I would like to thank those who shared their views and helped me piece together this journal.

Indescribable

Love is an indescribable emotion and experience intertwined with a sense of strong affection a person feels for another soul. Love binds humanity together, letting us experience emotions beyond our imagination. It also influences some of the most important decisions one can ever make. Love is worth living for, but ironically it is also worth dying for. It may lead to indescribable happiness, but may also open doors to unimaginable misery. Money can’t buy happiness, but love can find it for free. The Bible defines love as being God himself. John 4:8 states “God Is Love”. God is the epitome of love - in action and relation. It is impossible to find love, as love will only find you when you least expect it. Have you ever been in love? Many confuse their emotions, thinking they have been in love when they clearly have not.

Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoning passion or addictive love. Passion is an involuntary emotional state in which a person feels an intense romantic desire for another person. Both infatuation and passion are often confused for “being in love”, but are clearly two different matters. Those who do not believe in love will live their life without ever experiencing such joy, in a crucial world of hate.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Reasoning

Sara Goldfarb: It's not the prizes, Harry. It doesn't make any difference if I win or lose. It's like a reason to get up in the morning. It's a reason to lose weight so I can be healthy. It's a reason to fit in the red dress. It's a reason to smile, already. It makes tomorrow alright. What have I got, Harry? Why should I even make the bed or wash the dishes? I do them, but why should I? I'm alone. Seymour's gone, you're gone, I have no one to take care of. Anybody. Everybody. What do I have? I'm lonely, Harry. I'm old.

Harry Goldfarb: You got friends, Ma. What --

Sara Goldfarb: It's not the same. You need someone to make for. No, Harry, I like how I feel this way. I like thinking about the red dress and the television...and your father and you. Now when I get the sun I smile.

The following dialogue is from Darren Aronofsky's film"Requiem for a Dream", quite possibly my favorite movie. The reason I introduced this specific scene from the movie is because of it's true meaning. A reason to wake up in the morning and live your life. Some may argue religion itself is a way for us to have something to live for. Maybe we believe in God, and live our lives by the bible, just to have a reason to be a better person. It gives us hope and strength to overcome our obstacles. While I do not agree religion is just this, I do believe it is important to be motivated.

Having a girlfriend or a boyfriend may even be a reason or a form of motivation for us. The beginning stages of starting a relationship - the rush of emotions, the constant smiles every time we think of our new found interest - could be looked at as a reason to have a brighter day. It can make us feel loved, and gives us the feeling somebody cares about you. It gives you strength to get through your day. Everything happens for a reason. Yes, the cliche phrase I have heard all my life is being incorporated in my current lifestyle. There is a reason behind everything we experience in our life. The mistakes we make, we learn from them. The pain we encounter helps us appreciate the better days. After the sun comes rain, but the sun wouldn't shine as bright if the rain hadn't had it's effect.

Believe

I used to believe better days would never make way into my life. I was starting to believe nothing ever got better and happiness was overexaggerated. We would simply confuse a 'decent' day for a 'good' day, because we would be lowering our standards towards happiness. That's all life is about - standards. When we aren't happy with one thing, we lower our standards to be happy with the next best thing. But when you pray for better days, as I had been doing, those days shine light into your world.

2007 was promised to be a better year for us all, and though a month has passed, people around me have already encouraged negativity. We must always believe better days wait us in the future, it gives us hope and reason to look for a brighter tomorrow. It gives us a reason to wake up in the morning and make it through the day. We change with each and every day, and the struggles we face in life shape us into stronger individuals, but that's the beauty of aging. With age comes wisdom. When asked what my biggest fear is, I reply with "change" because of the endless possibilies, whether negative or positive. Remember to keep your head up and look for a better day.

Perfect

When something seems too good to be true, it is.

Why is it that when something seems too good to be true, it is? We often build it up in our imagination, and are disappointed when certain goals are not met. There is no such thing as perfect, so why use it in our language? It seems perfect is an impossible goal to reach, therefore I believe perfect should be a standard we set amongst ourselves. There is no such thing as the perfect partner, nor is there such thing as the perfect job. Perfect is what we make of it. So why are we left disappointed when something does not go as planned? It was "too good to be true", is what we say. In relationships, we must openly discuss our emotions, so one isn't wondering what the other feels. Communication is a must. Holding back is the epitome of failed relationships. It's not that the situation was too good to be true, but it is because we could not work past our obstacles and find a balance between right and wrong.